How to live happily with your in-laws
Time has come for putting an end to the never ending “ daughter-in-law Versus Mother-in-law” feud .Now that both the parties are more educated, they must try to adjust and live, thus giving husband/son relief form family tensions.
Mothers-in-law must remember the ill treatment, they had received from their in laws, and not perpetrate the same on their daughters-in-law. With their understanding ,non- interfering and adjusting nature the in laws can have a good rapport with their daughters-in-law, thus saving a lot of tension for their sons.
Fathers-in-law must not interfere with the day to day running of the house offer advise only when asked for.
Things You'll Need
- A little patience
- consideration
- adjusting nature
Steps
try to change your in laws opinion about your family (if it is adverse)
your parents –in-law and your parents are from different backgrounds. It would disappoint you if you try to compare them.
Proper behavior with your husband’s family speaks well of your upbringing and your parents.
even if they find fault with you ,have patience and change their behavior with your adjusting nature. Convince them that you need a little more time since you come from a different background.
Serve your in laws, and take their admonitions also with the attitude that you are serving your parents.
having family discussions or arguments before neighbors and friends, would spoil the family reputations
even if your husband argues with you on parental provocation, keep cool. Try to convince him when he is in a good mood.
Living separately may make life easy. But peaceful co-existence is better. As help and advice from elders is always needed in day to day life.
though old fashioned, your parents-in-law care for the welfare of the family, respect their wishes and advises.
Every individual is special. Take advantage of their knowledge. It could vary from tips on running the house,cookery, handicrafts, knack to repairs things etc.
Tips
- Keep good relations with your sisters-in-law and seek their help when you want to convince your in laws. Since they are more close to their parents they will help by arguing with their parents.
- Praise your in laws before your husband, when they are considerate to you. Then your husband also will lend a compassionate ear when you explain about a problem you have with your in laws.
- Think how unrest in the house can act on the health of your husband, since he will be caught in the vice between his parents and wife.
- Humble behavior would earn you peace and praise.
- Every individual is special. Take advantage of their knowledge. It could vary from tips on running the house,cooker, handicrafts, knack to repairs things etc.
- The point of attention and common interest, for all of you are the man of the house and children . So try to work in co=ordination for the betterment of the family.
Caution
- Avoid taking advice from parents, neighbors and friends regarding problems in the house, unless the situation is grave. It can precipitate matters.
- don’t start arguing with your husband when he is upset with the provocation of his parents, it would lead to a bigger quarrel with tempers flaring .
- do not plan to live separately, or send the in laws to some Old Age Home . Imagine your parents in the same plight. It could boom rang on you during your old age
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Comments
How to live happily with your in-laws
My advise to all girls out there is live seperately outright. When the mother-in-law eventually bites she will eat your marriage. Living with in-laws can destroy your marriage and you only realise when it's too late. I would not do as my mother-in-law ordered me to do, and my husband sided with his mum always. My husband has now divorced me at his parents say so after seven years of marriage. I feel even parents should be encouraging their daughters to live seperately if they want their marriage to survive. You may get one mother-in-law that is good out of ten but you won't know til you have tried it, so it's a big risk factor.
I do not agree that the
I do not agree that the bride's parents should encourage her to live separately with her husband away from in-laws. would you like if your parents are treated similarly by your sis-in-law? If you want your parents to be taken care of by their daughter-in-law you must set an example by being an accommodating daughter-in-law yourself. Humans are social animals if we can not get on with people around you, you will be isolated.
reply
Girls I don't want to belittle anyone's difficulties for difficulties are always there in everyone's life. Ther is no escaping them. And very often we try and find someone else to blame for them. But a little bit of positivity goes a long way to bring some happiness into everybody's life. As for myself, I have had the best relationship with my in-laws. There are times I can depend on my MIL for support more than my own mother.
Sisiter and girlfirend
Please advise, what do you do in a situation where in your own sister is trying to destroy your own marriage, she is telling my wife negative things about me.When the 3 of us are sitting together she doesnt partake in conversations, but the minuite i leave the room she will start chatting with my wife. Sometime she will even tell my wife that she musnt spend a lot of time with me, she must be with her, whats that ?
sister and girlfriend
If your sister is not married she must be frustrated, or over possessive about you. If she is married, she seems to be having some problem is her in law's house, may be with her sis-in -law.
Try talking to her and understanding her problem and find a way to solve it.
If that fails, try to convince your wife not to lend an ear to disturbing talk.
Re:How to live happily with your in-laws
Nice tips Padma, I totally agreed to you..As these days it become fashion that When in-laws get old, they have either sent to a nursing home or forced to live in senior homes and given the excuse as their professional care and comfort and company. can one send our own parents to nursing homes then why they send to their inlaws..
http://www.nursinghomecenters.org/
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