How to deal with children
Children are the most wonderful thing in this world. Their heart is so tender and soft. Their wordings come straight from their heart without any addition or deduction.
Children are the greatest teacher if one can allow them to open up or bloom into a beautiful being. At each stage children help us to mould ourselves into a wonderful being but the only thing for us to do is to be open to them.
Before we talk about children, the first thing we have to do is to deal with ourselves, find our positive and negative part of us and deal with it. Are we prepared to give up or work on negative part and build ourselves with the positive part? While doing so we have to be true to ourselves and this needs a lot of courage and openess to do so.
Once this has been cleared then comes the relationship of husband and wife. As husband and wife, we have to deal and have a clear understanding of each other. Both husband and wife must make their role clear and help out each other, because how they deal with each other has a great impact on the child. A child picks up the behaviour, emotions, way of talking etc very quickly from their parents. As parents their desires or expectation should never be pushed on a child. When the relationship of husband and wife is very clear then only we can deal with a child.
A child demands a lot of attention, love and care which has to be showered on the child by the parents. A constant rapport has to be maintained by the parents with the child at all stages of life. As parents we should tell them what we have to tell them and at the same time we must allow the child to pour out its heart or expression.
Parents and child relationship is such that it is not that only parents are teaching the child, the child also points out certain thing in us for which we have to be open and correct ourselves. It is only when this parent anc child relationship works out beautifully that a beautiful and happy family emerges and all the tension, stress, sucides etc will vanish. This becomes the beginning for building oneself and other relationship with the world in a beautiful way.
Remember if even one person changes it will lead to chain of changes, first with one own family and the later with the others in the surrounding.
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Hi I have a 3 year old step
Hi
I have a 3 year old step daughter. Her mother and I have been living together for 7 months now. The kid is always talking opposite to everybody not just me and I don’t know how to deal with it. Whatever you tell her to do she will not, whatever you tell her not to do she will. She is so hostile she just wants to argue, she rarely ever wants to play like a kid, for example she takes a toy and says my toy is better than yours, you are ugly and I am beautiful, I don’t like you, etc. I try so hard to bond with her, I constantly do nice things for her, she throws stuff around, kicks, pulls hair, and basically if you don’t let her do whatever she wants she cries. If you say this is black she will say no it is white. I have always been nice to this kid and I want to have a good relationship with this kid but I am having hard time getting there. Anybody that has any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thx
Acting out - love and time will heal all
Hello father of 3-year old,
Your step daughter is obviously 'acting out' since she is trying to deal with the rejection by her first father. She is only 3 years old, so she does not know 'the right way' to react. All she feels right now is anger, frustration, and great sadness. And the way it is coming out is through her rebellion. She is hurting you because she is hurting herself.
Your constant assurance that you love her is the only solution. She is pushing you because she is testing your love for her. At this tender age, she has known rejection. So she is pushing you to see if you will also reject her. I know it is tough, but if you really want to make a difference in the life of this little one (and I know you do), then keep loving her. Do set boundaries - but excercise those boundaries out of love and not anger.
All the best!
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